All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. You hit me with a cricket bat.

1. Saving the world with meals on wheels.
2. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
3. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
4. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.